Life Lesson in Compassion

Today I am extra grateful. Through a very long story, my family ended up sitting in the State District Courthouse at 8:30 am this morning. A thick door opened and two men were sandwiched in between two "prison guards." The men in between the guards had a chain wrapped around their waist that then strung to their hands which were also chained together. They were wearing blue and red jumpsuits, the kind you see in the movies. These two men had been arrested, and had no one to post bail for them, and so they spent the week in jail, waiting for their court hearing. As I was sitting there with my family my heart sunk for them. They had no one to turn to for help bailing them out of jail. "I couldn't help but realize, these two men are ordinary people." I thought of what kind's of music they might like, or maybe what their favorite song was. I thought of their parents and where they lived. I thought of how lonely they must be and how ashamed they must feel, to walk into a court room full of strangers, that know you did something wrong. Watching them, various scenes from my own life played across my mind, and I tried to picture them in those scenes as well. Ordinary scenes that everyone experiences, birthdays, dinners with family, high school dances. These two men were REAL people. Once my family was on our way home, happy with the outcome of our own little crisis, the two men came to my thoughts again. We didn't stay long enough to hear what each one of them were on trial for, or what their outcome was. But we were happily headed on our way, while they still awaited the verdict. More time in prison? Bail money, that perhaps they didn't have? Community service? I cannot imagine what their thoughts were waiting. But I am grateful for the knowledge I have in my life, the circumstances, and the blessings, that allow me to make choices that are in accordance with the law. Before today I thought of criminals as objects. Things that did something wrong and had to be punished for it. I never realized the reality. That they may in fact be good people, just a little lost in life. Maybe people who were stuck and had no idea how to get out of a situation other than turning to illegal activity. Maybe people who are in so much pain inside themselves, that drugs become the only escape they can see. I have learned a lesson in compassion today. And gained a greater realization of what a person is truly worth, regardless of their appearances, possessions, status, or the mistakes they've made. I am so grateful for this lesson and will never forget it.

The Good Ol' Fam

So I decided that my family is insanely awesome. On Christmas morning, my older brother Preston suggested that after each present opened we should do 5 pushups. No specific reason just decided that's what we should do. And we all agreed! Haha for the rest of the morning we opened presents and did pushups. My arms were so sore the next morning. Yesterday I played just dance with Jonathan, Chandler, and Myley while my Mom did the moves in the back round. The scene was absolutely hilarious. I mean can you picture that? Especially during the dance to "Hit me Baby One More Time" by Britany Spears. Yes indeed.  I love my family. They make life entertaining that is for sure.

Ain't Love Grand

I just finished watching a very cheesy chick flick. It was a movie based off of a book written by the same author that wrote "Little Women" so I thought it should be pretty good. It was very lame. The kind of film made on a budget, a very cheap one at that. Where the actors have never been heard of and the lines would still be cheesy if Jude Law was reading them.  But you know what, I liked it. It was very simple with not a lot of plot twists or surprises. You know I think that in terms of love, simple is good. It kind of reminds me of this song written by "Bright Eyes"

or the one by "Ingrid Michaelson,"

every time I hear it, it makes me want to be in love. Not the intense romance or the complicated couple kind. Just the simple, everyday, love. Thats what I want. It's the kind that takes time, little moments to grow, but once it has, it is the best thing that has ever happend to you. The kind where a friendship melts into love. It becomes natural knowledge that the two of you are supposed to be in love. Just like it was meant to be what you do for the rest of your life. The kind that makes you feel like you're the main character of a Taylor Swift love song. It makes everyday seem like there is magic in ordinary actions. Yeah. That's what I want. Just your average, simple, everyday love.

Good Friends Make All the Difference

Mmmm what a nice day. My cute little friend Amanda was in town (all the way from D.C. wow) and the gang was all back together! Except for Myrinda, I missed her, but other than her absence we were all there! Ha I had forgotten how much I laugh when I am with these people. Dache is so chill, and I am pretty sure he thinks we are all insane, probably because we are. Kylie is so cute she has a story for any topic we talk about and I love hearing her tell them. Brittany laughs at anything and everything said, which in turn makes everyone laugh, it's so great. Then Manda is just absolutely outrageous! I am serious. She is so original and says exactly whatever comes to her mind. Then Janna is the cherry on top. She adds to every joke and makes them even better. There is this quote on pinterest that says, "Do you ever look at your friend and think, 'Why in the world are we not comedians?" I am pretty sure I ask myself that every time I am with these people. My abs have had a workout for the day from laughing thats for sure!

 We wanted to all get into a photo, and had the great thought that Dache was so tall his arms MUST be long enough to get us all in. Haha not quite but we sure had fun trying!! I am shocked it didn't work though, I mean the guys is 6'7". Zeesh!

There they are. Cute Janna and cute Manda (below is a picture of cute Kylie and cute Brittany.) These girls have gotten me through some rough times. I recently got a letter from a missionary friend of mine. And he was VERY rude. He was way out of line, asking me very personal questions about my spirituality, and my motives on a recent trip to the temple. He even used the words in the letter, "Who is your Lord Camrie?" The letter was the opposite of what I needed to hear from him and it really shocked me that he would treat me so poorly. I had really shared some personal events with him and needed to be validated for my feelings. He made me feel like I was an idiot. That I had done all the wrong things. That I was very much mistaken thinking that I was any more special than every other person on this planet. After reading the letter I felt so low. Probably one of the most crummy feelings in the world. But these two girls made me feel SO much better. They always do. You know those people that just know you better than you know yourself? They say just the right thing, at just the right time? These are my girls! That is a description of these ladies. Janna, Manda, Kylie, and Brittany. They are my soul mates. and I sure do love them!

Don't good friends make all the difference in the world? Yes. It was a very nice day.

Best Christmas EVER!

Merry Christmas everybody! Tis the season! I think every year Christmas gets better and better. Lights, treats, time with family, time with friends, white elephant gift exchanges, and of course most important, remembering the birth of our glorious Savior, Brother, and Friend Christ. I feel so lucky to know Him. To know about His life and His works. Everyday is a new day to try and pay tribute to all He is and was for us, I hope I can live up to His gift in some small way daily. What an extraordinary man He was to His brothers and sisters. All glory and honor is His. 

I took my little sister ice skating for her first time yesterday, I don't think my hand has ever been held so tight! But it was fun to watch her creep along the ice hesitantly.

In my family we all draw names to see who has who amongst the kids for present giving. This year my brother Jonathan had me... oh wait he has had me for the past three years running! Haha he always gives great gifts though. This year he bought me the complete music collection of the one and only Elvis Presley. Oh my goodness! 649 songs! 1.1 days of music! Every song Elvis has EVER sung! I think its safe to say that one, I have the best brother ever, and two, I will be getting Elvis drunk for the rest of umm I don't know FOREVER!!

Random Ramblings

Well I am officially a slacker. I will try and post more. The other day some friends and I went to see the Christmas lights at Temple Square. It was as always absolutely beautiful. I am so lucky that one day I will be married in a building so exquisite as that. I have been home for Christmas break for just under a week now and I have just about exhausted all my distractions to keep me busy. I guess it's time to get creative. I do have a few good friends that I have yet to catch up with so maybe that will be my focus this week, along with the few presents I am still getting for family members.  Yesterday I went to one of my old roomies and really good friends mission farewells. It made me so excited and nervous for my own. Kalee is going to be the coolest missionary in the field! My Dad asked me if every girl I knew was going on a mission and it seems like pretty much we all are. He was wondering why that is and I think I have a pretty good theory. Men are just bigger chickens than ever before and because of this they are freeing up more 21 year old women to go on missions. So many of the future Sister missionaries I know of are incredible and beautiful, really the whole package and then some. But they are still single? Well sweet! Now we have the opportunity to serve the Lord, to learn and grow in the spirit, and spread joy. I guess in a way I am glad that men are such pansy's in todays world. Free's up all us amazing women to share the gospel. Now I am not saying that the only reason girls go on missions is because they are single, but you can't very well go on one when married or engaged, so it certainly does help.

Santa's Lil' Helpers

I forgot to post for yesterday so I will post one for today later this evening. But last night my roommate and I had the opportunity to be elves for Santa down at the Logan Family Services center. It really made me feel grateful for what I have, most especially my parents and family. I am so lucky to have a Dad that works so hard to provide for the family. That loves me so much and makes sticky situations feel like not such a big deal.  I am so lucky to have a Mom that stays involved in my life. That listens to my endless stories and always has advice or comfort for them. I am so blessed to have my older brother Preston who is genuine in everything he does. I am grateful to have my older brother Jonathan who is lighthearted and who's laugh makes everything funny. I am blessed to have my older sister Chelsey who is serving a mission and is unconditionally accepting of everyone. I am blessed to have my little brother Chandler, who is not so little anymore, and who is trying his best to be his best. I am lucky to have my cute little sister Myley who is so tender and compassionate in this rough world. I love my family!! So in being Santa's little helper I got to realize how incredible all my little helpers in life are, be they big or small. Xoxo Famliy!

       (We had some fun with the laptop Camera, there's at least 50 of these photos I'm sure)

Is This Really Happening?!!!

Wow talk about surprise! Yesterday I was reading my friends blog and she mentioned that her best friend, and a good friend of mine who has been in China for the past few months would be home soon. Naturally I thought to myself, "Oh yeah, Aubrie! I wonder when she is coming back, I miss her." Then I Facebook stalked her for a couple minutes. Fast forward to Relief Society this morning, I was sitting waiting for it to start and guess who walks in the back door? Miss Aubrie Tilley! What a dream right? Ha I was so surprised... early Christmas present anyone? To top it all off, rumor has it she may be buying my past roomies contract and living with me! My head was spinning in excitement pretty much the rest of church. One other huge thing has happened. I finished my mission papers, interviewed with my bishop, have an interview with the stake president on Tuesday, and then it's done! My papers will be submitted to the First Presidency! Sometimes I wake up in the mornings thinking, "Holy cow am I really doing this?!" I am terrified!! But I don't think I have been more excited about anything in my whole life! Talking with my Bishop today I realized how much God has been preparing me the past few years for a mission. All those experiences are starting to make sense! I guess what I am saying is the Lord really does know what he's doing, even if we can't see it until some years down the road. AH lucky me!! Mission call here I come!

                                                                    Mission Photo

I Am Grateful.

I am so grateful for my individualized, personalized, unique, one of a kind life. Tonight I realized that I am incredibly lucky for all the little elements that make up my life. To begin my parents. So many around me talk about how they don't get along with their parents, or that they don't understand them. My parents get me. They know me. I can tell them anything and they listen. They don't always agree but they listen and they validate. I am grateful for my parents. The second thing I am extra grateful for today is my personality and temperament. I am not your ordinary, everyday woman.  I am understanding, and reflective. True I get intense about some things but I have become a rational person that can breathe, just step back and breathe through life. How lucky am I? I watch people get so worked up over the smallest things in this life and I don't. This may sound prideful, but in all honesty I am not looking down on those that do. I am just grateful that my mentality is mine. That I am chill. I am grateful for my level headed way I approach life. Yup, tonight I am grateful for me and my life. Tonight I am grateful.

Holiday-Whobee-Whatee?

Holiday-Whobee-whatee? That was the name of the Christmas party our apartment threw last night in honor of the movie "The Grinch." Have you ever noticed how much a setting can stage the mood of something? Strings of Christmas lights zig-zagged through the ceiling of my apartment, while glowing white lights wrapped around three small pine trees reflecting off our cozy window, where a candle with the scent title of "hot apple cider" flickered in the window seal. Our counter was covered in some of the most delicious holiday treats anyone could ask for, all amidst Pandora softly sending notes of holly, jolly, and cheer into the air, along withe the great Justin Biebers new hit song "Mistletoe" such a great song. And lets not forget the oh so important actual mistletoe that hung in the hallway entrance. The apartment was choc full of friends chatting, people meeting, and yes really ugly sweaters. Can you picture it? Mmmm Christmas is just around the corner and I plan savor the magic of this season every moment I get.  Shout out to my girls for throwing an enchanting Christmas bash!

God Cares

Well I think I am learning pretty quickly that I am not very good at this daily blog thing! But I'm a tryin! Today was great. It never ceases to surprise me at how God answers my prayers. I can be asking a very specific question in my scripture study and that question is almost always answered right where I am reading. I feel very lucky for that. This past semester I have been blessed in so many ways. This sounds funny but God knows even the little things. Example: There is a guy in my building complex that has really hurt my feelings and although we are still friends it is painful to have to see him all the time at things. But the other day we had a service project and the time I signed up for was 1:00pm. I somehow managed to sleep in til noon (something I have done like twice in my entire lifetime) In doing so I missed my slot and showed up late. All the while praying I wouldn't run into this guy that its uncomfortable to see. Low and behold he was signed up for 1:00pm time slot too! Thanks to me being late I didn't have to see him. I know this sounds funny, but I just know that God cares. He is watching out for me and he understands how I feel. Things like this happen all the time! I just feel so blessed. I have a Father who is definitely watching out for me.

Life Amazes Me.

To start off I would like to say that it is 12:46 am and technically still December 7th because I have yet to go to sleep, so this counts as being on the 7th still right Ashley? Onward. Today I spent some extra time with the people that are in my life everyday. My roommates, Nikki Neilsen, Lindsay Williamson, Ashley Peterson, and the unofficial Cheyenne Thomas. Along with this I did my laundry. Usually when I do my laundry I run to the laundry room throw in my six loads of clothes, because I have neglected the task for three weeks straight, and go back to my apartment to read, or do homework, or watch t.v. But today I decided it was too cold and I was too lazy to go back and forth up the stairs switching out laundry. Instead I stayed in the laundry room with a book and tried to read. However I was lucky enough to meet people. I met this guy named Deven who is from Georgia and just joined the National Guard. Then I got to know Addison, a guy who works in my apartment complex and hates the way salt tampers with his the clean floors of the clubhouse. I also met a guy that I didn't learn his name but it was a good friendly hello. On top of these meetings a girl on the bus vented about her finals to get into Med. school so she can become a vet. Wow. People are amazing. I feel extra lucky to have the closer ones like my roomies in my life. But really just everyone in general. I think about the girls in my institute classes who are nice to me and chat with me before class everyday, or the guys in my ward that make it a point to smile and say hi. God really knows when you need an extra soul to lift your own. I am blessed to have the people in my life, whether our interactions be long or short, if it was in the past, if its in the present, or if it be in the future. God really does know who I need. I am blessed.

Project LiVE

What do you want to do before you die? I think I need a type of bucket list in my life! I was re-watching some of my favorite episodes from "The Buried Life" and it reminded me how freaking awesome those guys are, that's how I want to be. I want to have a pile of outrageous adventures and end points that I work to accomplish. So I am going to start working on one. Along with thinking about a bucket list I have been thinking about how great the world I live in is. The technology we have is incredible and I am doing poorly at taking advantage of it. Because of this I have decided to try and film some sort of activity each week. I mean why not? I have a camera, and won't it be great to look back and be able to watch my memories not just write in my journal about them? Heck this is the best years of my life... in fact with the way I am going ALL the years of my life are going to be the best years.  Let project live begin.

P.S. How about a little entertainment? A little Thanksgiving boredom can be turned into a very magical music video..er montage.

"I'm Happy Just Because"

Today was like the BEST DAY EVERRR!! Life has just been really good lately and not for any external reason. I am just happy. In my institute class we were learning about Barbara B. Smith (General Relief Society President in the 70's) and she was known for her optimism. One of the things she attributed that trait to was her junior high health teacher who told her to smile more, so she did. She made it a goal of hers to work on smiling. So in following her example I have been smiling more. Oh my goodness its been absolutely delicious! I feel great all the time. It is so funny to watch people look at me like "What the heck are you smiling about?" Haha I love it! It's like I have some killer secret that no one else knows about.  In loo of my happiness I want to share with you all one of the best song I recently stumbled upon. The first part is a lot of talking but I really love it the most, just how quirky it is. I feel like life should be like the words in this song:

 "Happy birthday darling we love you very, very, very, very, very, much! ..... in the face of every criminal strapped firmly to a chair we must stare, we must stare, we must stare... set fire to the preacher who is promising us hell... and in the ear of every an-archaist who sleeps but doesn't dream we must sing, we must sing, we must sing!!! And into the caverns of tomorrow with just our flashlights and our love we must plunge, we must plunge, we must plunge (definitely my most loved part)....I'm happy just because I found out I am really no one."

Those are just some of the phrases I am in love with in this song. Now I know you are wondering why a song about people plunging into the ocean makes me smile.... and I think it's because it means something more than that. When life is hard and unexpected we should be happy and find joy in the random little things maybe they are weird quirky things. What really matters is that we look at life to see the good things, the things that make life worth living and often times those things are the little things. Just love it.  xoxoxo Camsam

Once Upon a Dream

I realize that is may be a faux pah to post one day after another but I had to show off my cute craft project. Behold the DREAM JAR!!! Don't ask me how it works haha I don't really know, for some reason I just really wanted to make one. I guess I fill it with all my crazy dreams big and small. Three dreams in the jar so far... what are they? Well wouldn't you like to know... guess! Serious if you can get one right, I will tell you the other two ;)

I've Been Thinking...

So I've been thinking about happiness lately and what really makes people happy. Pretty much any person you approach and ask what they want in life, no matter what they really say, the bottom line of what they want is happiness. So what makes you happy? In my Career and Life Planning class our instructor mentioned that a good way to start thinking about what career choice you would like to take is asking yourself that question. What makes you happy? What makes you smile or laugh? What do you enjoy talking about? What do you get excited for? I think that asking yourself these questions for your life career is genius! Seriously, how great! One problem, I can't really answer them. I don't know. I feel like there are a lot of little things that are nice or fun to do but not anything that gets my heart pumping and the butterflies in my stomach taking flight. Does everybody in life have a passion? Not sure. But I think everyone should have one. So task of the year, find a passion. What makes me feel alive? What was my soul born to do?